Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Escape from California- or,The Trip, part deux

Let's see, when last we left our hacking heroes, I believe we were hacking and wheezing in the safe warm refuge of Casa de Collier, deciding that just maybe trying to start a cross country trip wasn't exactly the best idea in the world. So instead the day involved moving very, very slowly (we felt kind of like this...only more pathetic) back to the City, and to the post office again, to mail yet one more box, then having a very late lunch with Jocelyn and Gilein, and finally crawling back to the Colliers to lie on the couch, blow our noses and stare at each other.

Actually, it was pretty nice and cozy. Nephie (the kitty) even came and kept us company. Therese always says there is something awfully romantic about that first sick together, and oh boy, was this it. We had packed a box of booze for the trip, and a great portion was consumed in hot toddies that evening. Bob and Sharon, we sincerely apologize for the great dent made in the Kleenex stash while we were there. We slept early and long. 

I tried typing 'hot toddy' into google images, but accidentally hit enter to soon. Apparently this is 'Hot Todd', a Disk Jockey from Norway. 
We probably could have used him when we were loading the car. 

Which brings us to Day 1, of The Trip proper. Now, according to Google maps, this was supposed to be a 36 hour drive. So I'm thinking, great, 12 hours of driving a day, three days. Easy. Done. We are still on The Plan (remember that? yeah, start chuckling....), it's just a day off. 

The Plan now was to get up, get out the door, drop off a few things to lighten the car with folks in the area, and hit the road by 10! Of course, there was a small hitch, when we couldn't find the keys....for an hour. But no matter, eventually they were located, under the purse I had emptied three times looking for them. Sigghhhh... but still, eventually, hit the road we did!

There was the usual trip down south- waving at Casa, stopping in Lost Hills, etc. I was extremely pleased that I had already been able to show Brian some of the wonderful beauties of our state...since this drive does not really do that. When we had to head East through Bakersfield to get to 40 I believe he described it as 'the most desolate slice of the Earth's surface' he had ever seen. Can't really argue....

It was a lot prettier once we hit 40. Talk about your dark desert highways, it really felt like driving through Hotel California, with a really beautiful nearly full moon overhead. Though the soundtrack inside the car was pretty much a chorus of coughing and nose blowing. 

Oh, and apparently the closer you get to the Arizona border, the more California tries to JACK YOU on gas. First stop on lonely road in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night, $3.99. Ok, 4 gallons later, we go on trying to make it to the next place. $4 motherfucking 32!. Yeah. Not only that, but the pump took forever. Like, I went in, visited the powder room, got one of those Starbucks things you only buy in gas stations on road trips, came out, and Brian has succeeded in pumping an entire 2 gallons of gas. Yeah. It took so long, someone came by and told us Arizona was only 25 miles away, so we decided to go for it with about 4 gallons. Cross the boarder to AZ, $2.99!! Thanks for letting the screen door hit me in the ass on the way out, oh state of my birth. 

Anyhow, we made it across the boarder, where amazing rock formations loomed large in the moonlight, found the first of several cheap offbrand motels, and just poured the remaining scotch into a mug. I think we'd given up on dayquil or any such nonsense at this point. The old ways really are the best. 

Dewars, you beautiful bastard. 

So there you go, that was Day One. We didn't actually take any pictures, since we had forgotten to put batteries in the camera, and by the time we hit anywhere pretty it was dark. But Hot Todd ought to keep you going for awhile ;-)

Edit: I'll give you a little preview of Day Two- there are Dinosaurs. And 'Indians!'.


  1. This was a fun read! Can't wait to read about day two! Miss you already and hope you're having a great time in Kentucky :)

  2. Miss you like crazy! I also left a dress for you with Jessamy. It's the burgundy one you borrowed when you came to PEERS. It fits you better than I, so if you ever wanna come play dressup again you will have duds!