So last night I went to a lovely ball with my handsome man and some of our friends. And they are our friends, a small corps of folks whom I have gotten to know over the last few months, plus my dear Maggie and her beloved. During the evening, several of these lovely folks came up and asked me how I was doing. In a very serious, lovely way, clearly saying 'Seriously, how are you doing? you're not betraying our friend if you are freaked to shit, it's cool, we still love you." I really appreciated it, but it was kind of hard to explain how really o.k. I actually am.
I know it seems like I should be pretty overwhelmed. There was one moment in the middle of the night about two weeks ago, where it just hit me 'holy shit, my whole life is 2300 miles away!". Not in a panic way so much as just "like, whoa.....". But otherwise, really, seriously, truly- it's fine. All in all, it really just feels like I moved to a new town. One with tons of cool brick buildings, because you can do that in a place where they aren't gonna fall down.
It doesn't really seem like it's all so far away. It's partly just Facebook, etc- I mean, I'm still in contact with everyone like 24/7. Also, really, it's not like I used to get out that much anyway. Especially this last semester, I really was kind of a hermit. Here, I get to live with my best friend and partner. And I love every minute.
This was the right time in my life to do this. I just finished my master's degree, this was a perfect transition point. In the weeks before I left, I kept looking around at my life; I loved where I lived, my snug little attic in the Haight. But what if I had stayed? What would I be doing right now? Probably sitting up there, desperately searching for some kind of job, adrift, doing nothing. Here, I have actually started my teaching career. And living somewhere new and building a new life feels good.
This is progress. This is my life moving forward, and it really does feel good. So, do I miss everyone like crazy? Of course I do. But I am good.
Really. I promise :-)